


Courting a Quartermaster

by stellecraft



Category: James Bond - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Kittens, M/M, Oblivious Q, Presents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 11:23:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7713154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellecraft/pseuds/stellecraft
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James and Alec surely just want an exploding pen right? There isn't any other reason behind their gifts. Besides the two of them are together and there's no way they would want Q.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Courting a Quartermaster

     Alec sauntered into Q branch carrying the container of tea he had picked up for the head of the branch in Tokyo. He spotted Q on the center platform and headed in that direction only to be stopped by R.

     “He’s busy 006 and gave instructions not to be bothered.” She tried to take Alec’s equipment and the man just watched her, unbelieving.

     “Has he had anything but tea today?” At her shake of her head, he swore in Russian quietly. He began to dig through the bag he carried to see if he had any food on him. When his search produced two containers of pocky and a bag of star candy he handed them over to R. He walked over to an empty desk nearby and took the tray she carried, depositing his equipment, and handed it back to her. He saw her raised eyebrows at the singe marks on everything.

     “I know you set something on fire but why is everything singed?”

     “I dropped the gun in the accelerant I was using by accident. I cleaned the thing but I couldn’t get the singe marks off with what I had.” He took the pocky containers and the bag of star candy from her and deposited them on the tray. He placed the container of loose leaf tea on the tray as well. R caught his wrist and pulled up his sleeve to reveal the burn mark on his wrist.

     “Go to medical. I’ll make him a cup of tea and bring him one of the boxes of pocky. See if you can’t find one of the other double 0’s on the way to medical and get them to bring him some food that isn’t sugar.” Alec turned and walked out of Q branch shrugging out of his suit jacket. He took a knife and cut his sleeve to his elbow, revealing the entire burn on his lower arm that he had gotten while attempting to retrieve the equipment that he had been sent out with.

 

* * *

 

 

     James focused on the quartermaster as he walked into q branch. He could see R trying to get him to come over to her and ignored her in favor of walking onto the central platform. Q was chewing on a pocky stick as he coded. James pulled out the container of naan he had brought back with him from India and pressed one of the pieces into Q’s palm when the man reached for another pocky stick. James took advantage of the man’s distraction to push the pocky aside and take a paper towel from the roll on Q’s desk. He ripped some of the naan into easily eatable pieces, placing them on the paper towel before he left the central platform. He met R on the floor.

     “Alec’s in I’m guessing.”

     “He had star candy and pocky on him and Q’s had nothing to eat since he came in to run 002’s mission this morning. Alec handed off both in an attempt to get him to eat something other than tea.” James handed the container of naan to R and placed his gear on the tray she carried. His radio was cracked but otherwise, everything was in one piece. R watched, amused, as James pulled out a small jade statue of Tara, the Hindu goddess of peace and protection and placed it on the tray as well.

     “For Q.” He watched R trace the statue then carry the tray up to the central platform. She deposited the tray next to Q and settled the statue on the top of his computer He turned to go find Alec.

 

* * *

 

 

     Q watched as James made his way up to the central platform. The man was carrying the case he had been issued with his kit. He was also carrying a small package. James settled the package in front of Q and took the tray, moving to a side bench. Q’s fingers played with the edge of the paper on the package as James efficiently disarmed his weapon and placed the gun and its clip on the tray. His fingers slipped out his earbud and set it on the tray before he turned to Q.

     “It’s not going to explode.” Q opened the package slowly to find a cat tea infuser. He set it off to the side and glared at James.

     “007 you are not getting an exploding pen even if you do keep plying me with gifts and food.”

     “I don’t expect one. Is Alec back yet?” James watched Q’s fingers dance over his keyboard and reached down to adjust himself slightly. He caught R’s knowing look, he really shouldn’t have let her take him out for drinks and get him drunk enough to admit that he had a fetish for Q’s fingers, and turned back to Q when the man made a noise of frustration.

     “It appears that Alec had ditched his phone and earbud. I have yet to implement trackers in your guns primarily because I can’t find a place to put it that wouldn’t impact the use. He also hasn’t been around long enough to be given smart blood. If you wanted that information though all you had to do was ask. You don’t need to bribe me to get information about 006.” James watched Q type for a few minutes, the tension building in his shoulders, and stepped forward. He let his hands hover over Q’s shoulders for a few seconds so that Q could sense him there then gently lowered them until he was touching the other man. He found the knots that were making Q tense and worked them until they loosened. He wrapped his arm around Q’s shoulders and shifted the other man slightly off balance with his back arched. He heard the satisfying sound of Q’s back cracking in multiple places and heard the cutoff moan that Q let out. As he let Q straighten he tipped the other man’s head back onto his shoulder and rubbed at the base of his skull. As James pulled away slowly he smiled.

     “Alec can handle himself. He’ll be back soon.”

 

* * *

 

 

     Alec trudged into Q branch past midnight. He was sore and aching and just wanted to get home and into a hot bath. The center platform was lit up and he spotted Q asleep on one of the desks. As he approached silently he pulled out the present he had bought Q while he was on his mission. The vicuña blanket he had found while waiting for his target to arrive. The little village he had been staying in during his mission to Peru had been famous for its vicuña wool products. The woman who had made it was more than glad to sell it to him when he had expressed and interest as a courting gift. She had laughed and told him about how she had met her husband. Alec had smiled and resisted the urge to rub the soft blanket against his face. Now he draped it over Q with a smile. The man’s eyes jerked open and Alec rested a soothing hand on his shoulder.

     “It’s just me. I’ll disassemble and disarm my weapon then leave it on the tray along with the hard drive I stole for you to break into. You go back to sleep.” He watched as Q’s eyes fluttered and closed as he drifted back to sleep. Alec quietly disassembled the gun and laid it on the tray along with the hard drive. As he left he dimmed the lights on the center platform. He walked out of Q branch to find Eve waiting for him.

     “What are your intentions towards Q and do you know that James has also been bringing him presents?”

     “Straight to the point tonight aren’t we Moneypenny. My intentions are giving him what he needs, be it tea and a blanket or a decent shagging for as long as he wants me to be around. As to James yes I’m aware. I got Q tea, James got him a tea infuser.”

     “So you two are in this together?”

     “Yes. Now can I go home and sleep. I dropped off my equipment and Q’s still asleep.” He brushed past Eve and felt her fingers grasp his wrist.

     “He likes sweets. He likes obscure pieces of tech. He’s oblivious to people when they try to flirt with him. Hurt him and R will rig your guns to shock you.”

     “Understood. Will you let me know the next time he gets put on a forced vacation?”

     “Of course. You two planning something?” Alec smiled and walked off without answering her question. Eve poked her head into Q branch to see Q asleep on his desk covered by a blanket. She smiled and went to talk to M about forcing some vacation for Q and having James and Alec enforce it.

 

* * *

 

 

     Q sat in his flat in a huff. Alec had managed to find every laptop, tablet, and phone he owned and had locked them up. James was in the kitchen cooking something. Alec was watching him intently. Q lasted another five minutes before he broke.

     “006 give me my laptop.”

     “You’re on vacation Q. M’s orders were for you to relax and get some rest. You’ve been apparently sleeping in Q branch for the last week.” Alec picked up the cat that was purring and butting his leg affectionately. The cat flopped in his arms and let him pet her. “James is going to get a good meal into you and then you’re going to take a long, relaxing bath, and then James is going to get all of those knots in your back that are making you irritable out. If for some reason there is an emergency James and I have our earbuds in.” Q huffed but allowed himself to be herded to the table where James had laid out the food. He ate as James and Alec told him stories about missions before he had become Q. When they were done with the food James pulled Q into his bathroom and filled the tub. He dropped what appeared to be a bath bomb into the tub and left. Q settled in and felt the tension seep out of his body. He didn’t even bother covering up when Alec came in. Alec was the one to lift the half asleep Q out of the tub and dress him in a pair of boxers.

     James was in the bedroom when Alec led a half asleep Q in. The two of them guided Q to lie face down on the bed and James took up the lotion he had picked for this massage. As he rubbed it into Q’s skin he heard the quiet moans and murmurs that meant Q was feeling good. He worked out all the knots in Q’s back and legs then worked with Alec to slide the now asleep man under the covers.

 

* * *

 

 

     Q woke to feel more relaxed than he had in ages. His shoulders, neck, and back didn’t hurt for once and his entire body felt loose. He stretched and felt his back crack. Getting out of bed he found his glasses and put them on. His cats twined around his feet as he walked into the kitchen to feed them. Once he fed them he wondered over to the couch. On the coffee table, he found the combination to the lock Alec had put on the room where his computers, tablets, and phones were stored. He also found a box. When he opened the box he found a wide variety of cat toys. He smiled and dropped a few on the floor for his cats to play with. As he got ready for the day he puzzled over the gifts the two agents had been giving him. He knew there was an office pool about which agent he would sleep with first. He had found it highly amusing because neither of them were interested in him. Sure they kept bringing gifts but they didn’t mean anything by them except as bribes for better gadgets.

     Last night had been wonderful. He hadn’t felt that good in ages. He knew the two agents had only been doing their duty. He was certain that M had given them orders to keep him occupied and to at least attempt to get him to relax. They had gone above and beyond in that regard. The previous agents assigned to keep him from working had just let him work and read a book. Alec and James had kept him busy for the entire day he had been forced to read a book. Retrieving his laptop, he began to look through his plans until he found the plans for an exploding pen that he had drawn up. He forwarded the plans to his development team. He got dressed in his cardigan and pants and walked down to the car waiting for him.

 

* * *

 

 

     James and Alec were both due out on missions that day and Q had their exploding pens ready a week early though they had taken a month to build. He packed their gear cases himself and waited until James came through the doors to his branch. He waved James up onto the central platform and handed him the case with his gear. He watched as James opened the case and holstered the gun. The other man picked up the pen.

     “What’s this.”

     “You were positively wonderful to me during my enforced day off so I thought I’d make you and Alec exploding pens as a thank you for that and all the gifts you’ve brought me. It has been what you were angling for right?” He watched as Bond sighed and glanced at R with an exasperated expression on his face. She didn’t even look up from her computer.

     “Eve did warn you he was oblivious.”

     “I didn’t think he was this bad.”

     “He’s that bad.”

     “What are you two talking about?” Q was affronted that he didn’t understand R and James’ conversation. It was about him that was certain. And it had something to do with Eve. And…

     Strong hands cupped his face and lips pressed against his. He looked up at James, shocked, until everything clicked into place. His eyes slide closed and he let James deepen the kiss. It was wonderful and warm and James was just the right bit of demanding.

     “Oi.” James pulled away and Q whimpered. James grinned and tugged Q tight to him as Alec stomped up the stairs to the center platform.

     “He made us exploding pens because he thought that’s all we wanted.” Alec pulled Q from James’ arms and pulled him in for a bruising kiss. When he pulled away he watched Q try to form words and smiled when he didn’t. “I’m on a honeypot mission. I hope that doesn’t make you uncomfortable love.”

     “You’re a spy. It’s your job.” Q shoved away and walked over to his computer. Alec and James followed, crowding him.

     “This is not a one-time thing we promise. We’ll talk more about it when we get back I promise.” James pressed a kiss to Q’s head, already trying to figure out what to get the other man as a gift. He tugged Alec back. “You’ll be on comms right?”

     “Of course.” Q continued to type on his computer and R herded them out.

     “Who won the pot?”

     “Moneypenny. She’s splitting it with me.” She watched as James pulled out his wallet and handed some money over.

     “That’s for the feeding and upkeep of Q while we’re gone. If by some chance you run out because the two of us go tits up feel free to go into our bank accounts and transfer some to your account.”

 

* * *

 

 

     Alec carried the small kitten in the pouch on the hoodie he had put on at some point. He had found the creature on his mission and had been taking care of it ever since. He wondered into Q branch as his watch alarm went off. He pulled the kitten out and fumbled in the bag he carried for the formula bottle he had prepared. He slipped the nipple of the bottle into the kitten’s mouth and smiled as she began to eat. When she was done he carried her over to a trash can and rubbed her belly with a cotton ball he wet from a water bottle until she pooped. He cleaned her up and deposited her on Q’s keyboard as he typed. The little kitten began to attack Q’s fingers and Q was forced to stop.

     “Why is there a kitten on my keyboard Alec.”

     “I found her. When I went offline I was taking her to a vet to be checked out. I didn’t want to ruin the surprise. The vet said she’d be old enough for solid food in about a week.”

     “I don’t have time to foster a kitten, Alec.”

     “M’s pissed that I went offline to take a kitten to the vet. I’m grounded for the next four weeks. I handle her until I go out on a mission again and by that point, she should be independent enough.”

     “And where in your flat will you keep her?”

     “I was hoping to be able to stay at your flat and take care of her there.” He watched as Q’s expression softened as he looked at the kitten. Q took the chain off his neck and pulled one of the three keys off. He handed it to Alec.

     “Your fingerprints should be in the scanner. I’ve got some ratty old towels in the linen cupboard in the hall outside my bedroom and one of those expandable gates tucked into my closet. You can stick her in the spare bedroom/office’s closet. Cover the floor with the ratty towels and she should be fine. Make sure to buy…”

     “Kitten food, kitten formula, a cat cave, and a separate litter box. I’d say you’ve got enough toys. Will your other cats tolerate her?”

     “Don’t introduce them until she’s older.” Q wrote down a phone number on a sticky note and handed it to Alec. “My vet’s number. Tell her you’re my boyfriend and are fostering a kitten. She should be able to get you in.”

 

* * *

 

 

     James stumbled into Q’s flat and nearly tripped over one of the cats. When he stopped looking at his feet he found himself looking down the barrel of a gun being held by a sleepy Alec. James pushed the gun away from him and Alec blinked.

     “Sorry James.”

     “Oh, I’m glad to be met with a gun in my face. It means you’re taking security seriously. Where’s Q?”

     “Asleep. Go join him. I have to feed the kitten.”

     “Kitten?”

     “I found one. Q told me to tell the vet that I was his boyfriend. She needs feeding every two hours.” Alec turned in the direction of Q’s office and James went into the bedroom. He found Q in one of Alec’s shirts and boxers and smiled before stripping down to his boxers and sliding into the bed. Q opened his eyes for a moment then closed them again.

     “Welcome home now sleep.” Q nuzzled into James’ shoulder and fell back asleep. James waited until Alec was back and tugged the other man against Q’s back.

 

* * *

 

 

     Q was woken to a mouth on his neck sucking marks while a second mouth sucked on his cock. He looked down to find James lazily stroking himself while he used his tongue in ways that Q thought should be illegal.

     “Am I going to be treated to your skills in the bedroom?” He felt Alec’s mouth leave his shoulder.

     “If he’s still able to talk you’re doing it wrong.” Alec tossed James the bottle of lube that Q had set out on the nightstand the night before in preparation for James’ arrival. James popped open the bottle and slicked up his fingers. He used one finger to circle Q’s entrance and Q moaned. He heard Alec’ satisfied noise as he pressed down on the finger. James slid the finger in and moved it to brush against Q’s prostate. Q let out a strangled squawk and pressed down even more. Alec gripped Q’s hips hard, holding him in place. James made an appreciative noise around Q’s cock and the man moaned. James pulled off Q and added another finger. His free hand scrabbled for something in the sheets and Q spotted the MI6 issued condoms.

     “How do you like it Q?”

     “Hard, rough, I don’t mind sweet and soft sometimes, though. Not today, though.” Q’s breath hitched and James added a third finger. He pulled the fingers out and turned Q so that he was resting on his elbows and knees. Q heard the tearing of a condom wrapper and the sounds of the condom being rolled on.  The blunt head of James’ cock pressed against him for a second before it slid in. Q closed his eyes in pleasure as the slide produced enough of a burn to be pleasurable but not enough to cause pain. When James bottomed out he stopped, gripping Q’s hips hard.

     “God you feel amazing.”

     “Yes, I understand. Now move or I swear to go I’ll send you out with a fucking water pistol as a weapon.” James pulled almost the entire way out and thrust back in. Q’s mouth went lax as a moan tore free. His head dropped and he pressed backward. Alec grinned and tangled his fingers in Q’s hair, tugging gently. Alec watched as James managed to turn the ever talkative quartermaster into a mess of moans and noises that didn’t resemble speech. When he came he let out a moan of their names. Alec reached for one of the condoms and jerked himself off so he didn’t make a mess as James pulled out of Q. The two of them settled next to the limp Q grinning.

     “So are we allowed to stick around?”

     “Give me more sex like that and you can live here for all I care.” Q pressed kisses to both of their lips and smiled. “Alec you need to feed the kitten.” Alec groaned and got up as James curled around Q. The other man laughed and pressed a kiss to Q’s shoulder.

 

* * *

 

 

     Q branch watched as Q wondered around the branch with his com unit in and a kitten slung around his shoulders. Alec and James were off on missions but had both gone radio silent the day before. Q was worried was checking in on all of his people to disguise his worry. Eve watched from the enclosed hallway above Q branch. Tanner was with her and she could see M further down the hallway. The kitten, Binary, jumped off Q’s shoulders and took off after a mouse that was running across the room. The kitten caught the mouse and carried it back to Q where she deposited it in the trashcan next to his desk. Eve watched as a figure stepped out of the elevator and Binary ran over, jumping up to perch on the man’s shoulders. Q turned when Binary ran off and frowned when he saw the man. Another man came from one of the tunnel entrances to Q branch and Q’s frown deepened. The three in the hallway watched as Q berated Alec and James about losing their equipment, going radio silent, and worrying Q. James leaned in and kissed Q gently, almost apologetically. Eve smiled and led Tanner off. M followed them and the three of them went back to their offices knowing that things wouldn’t blow up with the two agents back safe.


End file.
